WHAT FRESH HELL IS TODAY GOING TO BRING??

Not an ideal thought to start your day, BUT this is my latest challenge.  Ok don’t judge; yes, I am a coach, and I help others live their best life so you might be thinking what sort of coach talks like that. The simple answer is a very real coach.

Like everyone I am a work in progress, and I don’t claim to have the perfect life; Really who does?

I’m usually quite vigilant with my self-talk and I am aware of how that impacts not just the day ahead but also how we see and treat ourselves.  So today I wanted to blog about exactly that – How our thoughts and self-talk directly impact the quality of our life.  It is perfectly normal to have negative thoughts and speak to ourselves worse than we would others; this does not mean it is healthy.

Do you ever pull yourself up for the way you think or speak about yourself? If the answer is no, then maybe it’s time to make that a focus, to ensure you are not sabotaging your life with your OWN words. Instead of my original thought of “WHAT FRESH HELL IS TODAY GOING TO BRING” I could flip that and ask myself “WHAT CAN I ACHIEVE TODAY” OR “TODAY IS GOING TO BE A GREAT DAY.” 

When I am in a good headspace, I make it my mission to start the day on a positive note and speak to myself as nicely as I do others, which I know is not only healthier but sets me up for a much better day.

One program I offer, that my clients find very transformative is about ANTS; not the black crawly things but AUTOMATIC NEGATIVE THOUGHTS; the things that pop into our minds sometimes without us even realising.  Some examples of this are “I’m such an idiot,” “I should do better” or “why do I always stuff things up;” the list is endless, but you get the gist. These might sound trivial; however, they are very damaging if left unchecked as it erodes our self-esteem and can impact on every area of our lives.  

The aim of my CHALLENGING ANTS program is to have you examine your thoughts that often go unnoticed, as these lead to how you feel. Stop now and think of one negative thought you often have and what feeling that triggers in you?  

Below is a list of distortions that are in play when we experience ANTS:

·       ALL OR NOTHING THINKING – “If I don’t do this perfectly then I’m a failure”

·       OVERGENERALISATION – You get something wrong then you might think or say “I always screw things up”

·       CATASTROPHISING or MINIMISING – You blow things out of proportion or shrink them

·       SHOULD – Shoulding on yourself sounds like “I should be better at this” or “I should be a better mum” This can lead to guilt or frustration with yourself.

·       LABELING – This might sound like “I’m such a loser” or “I’m hopeless”

·       JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS –- You assume things without evidence. MIND READING “He didn’t call me so he must not like me” & FORTUNE TELLING “I know I’m going to fail this exam”

·       NOT ACKNOWLEDGING THE POSITIVES: You receive a compliment or praise, and you respond in your head with “They don’t really know me because if they did, they wouldn’t say that”

·       BLAMING & PERSONALISING – Personalising and taking responsibility for something that wasn’t yours to own or blaming others and not taking responsibility when needed

·       EMOTIONAL REASONING – Assuming feelings are true facts “I feel useless therefore I am useless”

·       MENTAL FILTER – dwelling on one negative detail to spoil your own enjoyment.

When these ANTS appear it’s important to stop and examine the thought and ask yourself:

·       How does that make me FEEL?

·       Is it FACT OR OPINION?

·       WHERE IS THE EVIDENCE?

·       WHAT IS A BETTER WAY OF THINKING ABOUT THIS?

Once we start to notice and examine our ANTS, we can improve our self-talk and in turn our self-belief, which is something money cannot buy!

Making these changes is not easy nor linear; it takes time, practice and belief in yourself. I don’t think there’s a person alive that gets this right 100% of the time, but I can guarantee it is worth taking the time to increase your awareness and make positive changes.

You might ask how I can guarantee that – I can because I have seen results with clients as well as constantly working on myself. Try it and let the results speak for themselves.

If you would like to know more about Automatic Negative Thoughts and how they can be changed, book a free, no obligation call with me.  I look forward to hearing from you.

Mandy

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